Well-versed duo
MATURE POETS LOOK AT THE ROMANTIC AND SEXUAL ASPECTS OF LATE-LIFE LOVE

AH, the twilight of life -- a time of wisdom, experience, reflection of romance and sex. Sex, romance and the elderly? Romance, maybe, but sex? Mention such a subject and the reply might be, "they don't have sex, do they?"

It's a common reaction that's both offensive and ill-informed. But perhaps it springs from those who, as kids, wanted to believe their parents never "did it" or that sex comes to a sudden halt at the sign of the first wrinkle.

Both theories are, of course, wildly inaccurate.

In fact, the medical profession states there's no physical reason sexual desire should die throughout a human being's lifetime. It may diminish or change but it need never go away, physically speaking. The ongoing human need for loving closeness and intimacy certainly never dies.

But, then, most older folks already know this.

They may watch our youth-obsessed world celebrate love, romance and sexuality as only for the firm of skin and tender of years, but they smile their wise smiles and keep their delicious secret to themselves.

Not so secretive are close friends (not partners) and fellow poets, 86-year-old Joe Fromstein and 72-year-old Linda Stitt. They've put their considerable talents together to tell the world about the realities of mature love and romance and the result is an unusual and delightful poetic collaboration.

Loveplay, A Conversation in Rhyme (White Knight Publications) is their newly-released book of poems that will amuse and surprise those who think mid- and late-life love is a romantic and sexual desert.

With deceptive simplicity and joi de vivre they explore not only the joy and pleasure of love, sex and relationships in late life but also its disappointments, insecurities, trials and tribulations. Even such negatives as impotency and frigidity are humorously and wryly exposed under their poetic gaze.
But the book's uniquness comes not just from the two poets' creative talents but from the style in which the poems are presented --both give a very different and occasionally opposing personal view of each of the subjects.

It's a fascinating juxtaposition. There may be a battle of the sexes raging generally but these veterans of the field show how much better it is as a gentle joust.
They met six years ago when Stitt was giving a public poetry reading. Fromstein cheekily interjected by offering an extra line for her poem he felt was missing. Stitt, far from being offended, graciously accepted the extra line, included it, and a strong friendship grew as a result.
Stitt says she grew up with poetry.

"Poetry was a way of life with my family. My mother read poetry to me when I was in her womb!"

PASSION FOR POETRY

She has been professionally writing poems since 1983. A member of the League of Canadian Poets and the Canadian Poetry Association, she now has 10 books of poetry to her credit and is much sought after for her readings.

For Fromstein, the passion for poetry came later in life and was a private occupation he enjoyed after retiring from his own pharmacy. It continued when he decided to return to the University of Toronto to study for his B.A. The year he turned 80, he graduated with top marks and in the last six years has won several speaking competitions via Toastmasters International and written two poetry manuscripts.

Both are now single -- Stitt is divorced after a 25-year marriage in which she lived in Thunder Bay (she is now based in Toronto), and Toronto-born Fromstein is a widower after a 47-year marriage he says was "perfect."

But although both say they would never marry again, they agree the desire for romantic and sexual companionship doesn't diminish with time and add that aging is no barrier either to the creative process and self-fulfilment.

"It's essential, though," says Fromstein, "to always keep a sense of humour." Which he has in spades.

But despite the obvious struggles and adjustments people find they have to make as they age, I ask the still-attractive Stitt what she's found beneficial about getting older.

"Being freer and able to speak my mind," she promptly replies. "In fact, I find all aspects of aging interesting, body and mind."

Does she miss anything though? Her reply takes longer this time.

"The flirting!" she laughs finally. "No one flirts with old ladies."